Christine

So, me and the boy ordered pizza for dinner. Tralalala.

We wait with eager anticipation for it to arrive.

He lives in a condo, so we're right across the way from our neighbors, and since the doors are rediculously unsoundproof(yet the walls are actually pretty good) we hear everything that goes on.

We hear a knock on the door across the way, I'm up feeding the cats so I go spy. It's a dominos guy. He's delivering some pizza. The neighbor signs for it, takes it in, and the pizza guy leaves.

I think, gee that's weird, they ordered pizza at the same time...and he doesn't also have our pizza? Did we just get pizza gyped?

A minute passes, we hear another knock, the guys says "Sorry! Pizza isn't for you, it's for the neighbors." Pizza is handed back, he comes over to our place. Has us sign the receipt that they had already signed. And guess what?

Those pizza stealing assholes didn't write in a fucking tip.

Granted it wasn't their card, but still. Tip the fucking pizza guy! If you're stealing ten bucks worth of pizza what's the harm in stealing a three dollar tip too?

So that's how I know that our neighbors are big mother fucking bastards.

I also now know that it's possible to poison them with mystery pizza since they have no qualms about stealing it.

AND NOT TIPPING!

That's what really sent me over the edge, because somewhere in the back of my mind, I could see stealing pizza that showed up at my door. But not tipping? I'm pretty sure it says in the bible that people go to hell for that kind of thing. Like, 80-90% sure.

Andy Schleck is still the most awesome of awesomes and Alberto Contador is probably very similar to the people I live next to.

The pizza was also delicious.

Yep. The time trial today. Contador was the big favorite.

He managed to beat Andy Schleck by 31 seconds. If you add the 31 seconds, to the 8 seconds he was leading by you get 39 seconds. Which means nothing until you're like, huh, that's weird. That's the EXACT FUCKING AMOUNT OF TIME THAT CONTADOR TOOK WHEN ANDY WAS STUCK WITH HIS CHAIN.

WHAT A MOTHER FUCKING COINCIDENCE.

So pretty much. They're even, if you don't count the fact that alberto took fucking advantage in a really trashy way.

I'd just be too depressed to go on. "Yeah, I won the white jersey, and I won two stages, I won something like 8 yellow jerseys."

BUT THAT FUCKING PUNK RUINED EVERYTHING. BECAUSE HE'S A TOTAL ASSHOLE.

You know what, all of the people I meet from Spain are assholes, all of the Spaniards in the tour de france seem to help contador out. And you know what else? I fucking hated Spain. It was like mother fucking California. If I had known that I wouldn't have wasted my time and spent more time in Switzerland or France. So FUCK YOU SPAIN! FOR YOUR GENERAL SUCKINESS AND YOUR PRODUCTION OF ALBERTO CONTADOR.

Although, randomly I felt bad that Sammy Sanchez(a spaniard, who also helped the other mother fucker) was beaten by Menchov in the time trial, I think it was mostly because it would suck to beat the guy the whole race, and then at the end be like, hey, I'm better at time trialing, so fuck you. Plus Menchov is russian, you can never trust them. That's what my grandpa says anyway.

I hope he gets hemorrhoids like no fucking other. Yeah. That would be a really satisfying punishment. I'd never hear about it, but I like to think that maybe god would give me a heads up. "That guy you and most everyone else hates? Yeah. Shitting up a blood storm, I can tell you that."

So now I don't even want to watch tomorrow. Maybe the people in Paris will throw rotten fruit at contador, and flowers at schleck. But I'm pretty sure they'll have their champagne, smile like the asshole he is, and probably do some celebrating with Andy. Who is way too fucking nice to that douche bag.

I really hope it's just a show. Like, I don't want to see them hanging out in Australia, being buddies. I'm cool with pretending to be friends, because they'll probably be racing for the next ten years together, and you don't want to call him an asshole in front of everyone, because then there's all those awkward long silences, but seriously. The dude is an ASSHOLE. You can have better friends than that Andy. Go talk to George Hincapie, or Dave Zabriskie. I don't know if they're overly friendly, but they AREN'T ASSHOLES. Hell, try Tyler Ferrar, he seems like a total dweeb, but guess what. ALSO NOT AN ASSHOLE. Which I think is what's really important.

Hey, Tony Stewart is getting god damn fat. I realize he just has to spin around a car for a couple hours, but jesus man, lay off the fucking cheeseburgers, you still have to fit through that window. Bet it would be really embarrassing when his team has to actually put in a real door just to get his rollie pollie ass in there.

In the opposite set of mind. Andy Schleck is god damn skeletal. I realize there is a purpose to this, and most bicyclists are frighteningly skinny, but god damn. I don't know if it's the white uniform, but he leaned over and I counted all of his ribs, everyone of his vertebrae, his hip bones were sticking like two inches out of his back. There is supposed to be skin over the bones, that's not what it's supposed to look like. Flesh, you're doing it wrong.

I'd still tear him up like a vampire in a blood bank. But I might consider focusing just on the face area, and maybe the ass, he probably has a nice ass. I suppose his legs are nice and strong too. Plus with his arms all skinny, that makes it harder to fight me off. That's a definite plus.

Mmmm.

I'll be in my bunk.

Hey, remember how I said I knew Contador was talented and a good guy in general?

FUCK YOU CONTADOR!

Now, I feel that having a 'gentleman's sport' is total shit. It's silly and idiotic. But you know what? The bicyclist don't seem to think so, so it is, and I've grown accustomed to that. People crash, you don't attack, obviously, no one comes to a stop for you, but you don't kick people when they're down.

"One of the oldest unwritten rules in the Tour de France: Do not benefit from a rival's puncture, crash or breakdown to take the overall lead."

That's a fact. That's science.

But apparently, they only have to be gentlemen if they're a decent and talented person who doesn't resort to beating people when they're down on their luck.

If you're a real piece of shit, and know that "oh my god, I might actually lose this if I race him for real." it's totally acceptable for you to wait until your competition attacks, you actually fail to react, one of your team mates attacks faster than you. You start to follow, but the gap is too big. You're losing.

Suddenly, the competitions gear pops out, he has to come to a complete stop to fix it. No quick bike switch, because he's all alone.

And then you FUCKING ATTACK. BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A PIECE OF SHIT TO TRY AND STAY WITH HIM IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT LOSE.

FUCK YOU YOUR SPANISH SON OF A BITCH!

Oh, and congrats on the yellow jersey. After Andy rips you a new asshole and takes it back, I'm sure he'll think about FUCKING YOUR MOTHER in celebration.

You know those Luxembourger's, they're really considerate like that.

Oh, just watched an interview from Andy, he isn't swearing at Alberto. He's actually being really nice about it. The meanest jab he made was "I don't know if it's fair or not, that's not for me to decide. I wouldn't have raced like that."

Maybe Andy just needs me to teach him how you verbally fuck someone because there's a specific piece of euro trash that I think could really use it.

YOU FUCKING DOUCHE BAG PIECE OF CUNT. You weren't even ATTACKING until his gear popped.

You realize when andy's chain popped you weren't even in THE FUCKING SCREEN on the tv? You know that? And then you attacked, and I could see you not knowing(that's what his interviews have consisted of, "I didn't know") until Andy came to a COMPLETE FUCKING STOP in front of you. And then you knew exactly what happened, and you still fucking attacked. You were out of the saddle half the race up the hill, you were pushing at the bottom of the hill. You fucking knew, and you were too much of a pussy to see if you could beat him in the time trial.


BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He came up to get the yellow jersey and guess what? Half the crowd is BOOING CONTADOR. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU PIECE OF SHIT! EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT. I HOPE THIS WAS A REALLY SPECIAL MOMENT FOR YOU. ENJOY THE STUFFED LION BEFORE SOMEONE TEARS OFF ITS HEAD AND TAKES A SHIT IN ITS THROAT.


If you win I hope they throw shit at you in paris. The booing was really therapeutic for me, and though andy didn't show a reaction, you can bet your sweet ass that he was grinning from ear to ear inside.

After I teach andy to talk smack like a WWE wrestler on HBO, I'm going to come down to your home town and burn that piece of shit gym that they named after you down.

Actually, never mind, because I bet the kids that play there will be so disgusted with you, they'll tear your name plaque down and piss on it. Job well done.

Who even wants to win like that?

Man, if I had a thousand dollars, I'd seriously consider going all Toyna Harding on his stupid ass. I suppose that would make me just as shitty as him though, so I guess I shouldn't. Plus I don't have the money for the plane ticket.

But I really really want to.

People who talk on elevators are robots. Mindless soul sucking robots.

I know this because I am physically incapable of speaking on elevators. The last I checked, there were a grand total of zero robot parts on my person. That's science.

I wonder what I would do if I were trapped on an elevator with people. Would I just sit there in complete silence, offering an occasional "uh-hm" to the claustrophobic idiot who keeps saying how they wanted to take the stairs today?

Or would I crack immediately and start laughing nervously and making pathetic attempts at small talk? I feel like when I was working retail the silence was awkward so I would try to fill the gaps with mundane comments about the weather.

I'd like to be stuck on an elevator with someone who's totally losing it, trying to talk about the mariners being a crap team, and them being like, if I ever live to see another game I'll be grateful. And then I could talk about the weather, how nice it's been outside, and I'll just get angry glares.

Or maybe I'd go all Mission Impossible and try and punch out the ceiling with my crafty skills and shout down "what does 'release emergency brake' mean?"

I'm 97% I'd just sit in the corner and say uh-hm.

I'm such a disappointment. I never even get to go on elevators that often.

How ever, I think the important update is that I did eventually get drunk enough to rescue the spiders, so karma for me. In fact, that was so impressive of me, I might just get one of those 'get out of hell free' cards that they've been handing out.

Also. Not drinking tonight. yay me!

Hey, I also love that commercial where they play "jump around" in space and the astronauts are all swirling their arms in slow motion.

It's too bad I'm in this really write-y mood today, and I have nothing to say. I wrote in my journal, I jammed on my typewriter, I facebook messaged people, and then texted the same people, who I then called(not writing, but still excessive), and now I'm all up in my livejournal grill.

Still obsessed with Andy Schleck. Just more sober now. I bet that biker tan he has is really god damn sexy. Holy crap, I can invite him to the wedding and he can show up and be all "I OBJECT!"

That'll only cost me the plane ticket and like, 50 grand, right? I need to get my savings plan going.

Maybe he'll just send an autograph as a gift. I could probably live with that. Depending on if I can save up the 51 grand by then.

Rock Band has taken my father hostage. Back in the day with my gray brick of a game boy, my parents would steal it to play tetris, because they ate that shit up. This is a whole new level. Some guy from my moms work brought it over for a party one night, dad seemed to have fun, so me and my mother were like, 'hey, this will be a cool fathers day present right? Totally!'

And that was our first mistake. We bought Beatles and Greenday, with the instruments. He bought rock back 2, rock band 1, guitar hero Aerosmith (can't play with rock band instruments? no problem because), guitar hero guitar, rock band bass, wireless microphone, special drum sticks, guitar stand, and a CCR song pack online.

Oh my god.

The dude has gone totally nuts.

Don't get me wrong, it's fun, but jesus, when I come home at 2 in the morning and he's sitting downstairs bleary eyed and twitching with a guitar in his hands, I'm not going to be surprised.

Also, his parents are in town, and now he is forcing them to play as well. Old people. Video games. Why do I feel like that's an a-typical combo.

Am now staring at screen and trying to think of something interesting to say...

Doesn't seem to be working now that it's like two hours since I've started.

oops.

Oh, yeah, You know bicycle races, which are totally geeky to be interested in? Especially if you only watch the tour de france and don't actually ride bike at all, or follow the other races because well, this is what versus(the channel) covers.

Yeah. Well I'm totally a tour de france groupie. And you know what, i had a really great time watching lance Armstrong kick ass and take names. that was god damn awesome. And then lance left, and I didn't really follow it as much, and then I didn't have cable and I didn't follow it at all. But then I had my parents cable so I watched it some, and then Lance came back! Huzzah! He got third.

I decided immediately that Alberto Contador was a total asshole. No real reason. I just did. I'm compulsive like that. I decided Andy Schleck was talented, but wasn't going to last and was just another person for lance to beat. Like a Jan Ulrich if you will, I wanted that guy to get second every year. I was pissed if anyone dared to get in the way.

And then this year, when I am totally into it again, Lance sucked it up. yeah. Bad luck. Blah blah blah. I think the professional term is riding like a GIRL. I'm just saying the "old" lance would have gotten pissed off and used his texas fury to get his ass up the hill. The literally old lance, not so much. He's still a good bike rider, I'm not denying that, and I still secretly hope that he goes for a stage win everyday because god dammit, he was a champion. The look over my shoulder "are you coming bitch?" champion. I don't want him to go out like an old man.

And he just lost so much time. It hurts me. Like, deeply. remember when the bulls were this amazing miracle team? It was like that, and then when all the good players went away you were left with this empty husk of team spirit, and you realized that the team wasn't the same at all, and it just hurt, to have so much invested in one team/man that you hadn't realized how much you really were counting on them to at least contend for the lead if not come very very close.

As a personal aside, I realize that Alberto Contodor is an excellent rider, he frightens me how good he is, and he seems genuinely friendly in all the interviews he does. He lives in a small city still when he's off season. He seems like he's really a good guy.

Hate that mother fucker more than ever. If people were meant to think logically, we would be calculators.

I had a dream where I somehow got Andy Schleck's phone number and called him when he was warming up before the race. (Just so we're clear, I went into the dream completely sane, so I blame the subconscious entirely for this.) I don't even remembered what we were talking about, but I woke up and was suddenly on the Andy Schleck team.

And not just like. "gee golly, I hope andy wins, that would be swell."

I was enraged when Frank went down. ENRAGED. And suddenly I was imagining me and Andy, hanging out, chatting it up (what the fuck would we talk about??!?!?!?!?!?!) And I was like, "I'm in love with Andy Schleck!!!"

The slightly more disturbing part is the part where I realize I have NO IDEA who Andy Schleck is. He's a good bike rider. That's literally all I know. And they call him the Luxembourger. Phil and Paul on Versus do anyway. I have no idea if people from Luxembourg refer to themselves as 'Luxembourgers'. But it has the word Burger in it, how can you not love that?

Anyway, I'm pretty sure this psychotic delusion (which includes me looking for his upcoming races to see if any are within $300 of travel. Not joking. Caribbean is only $600, seriously considering it) is due to the fact that Lance let me down so hard. If he had just waited for the Pyrenees to drop I could have been like, 'aw dang. Lance doesn't have it this year. We had a good run of seven years, I grew up watching that. it was amazing. I can move on now and just enjoy the race' but it was just such a sudden slap in the face I feel like I just radically latched onto Andy as my last best hope.

I shouted at him to push it on stage 12 where I saw Contador making some faces like he was tired. I screamed bloody murder when he let him go for like 10 seconds. (in Andy's defense Phil Ligget the commentator on TV didn't even say anything until they went to the helicopter view. You're getting old dude. I saw that turquoise son of a bitch from a mile away.)

I'm going freaking crazy. Like, I'm used to these celebrity crushes in like...sixth grade. You know, where you scrawl their name over your binder and try and find all the newest pictures. (okay, it might just be a girl thing. There were others, so don't just point the finger at me) But well. I have no binders. I'm engaged. HAPPILY engaged. And I'm still all "ANDY ANDY ANDY. OMG ANDY IS SO HAWT. LISTEN TO HIS ACCENT. ISN'T HIS SMILE CUTE. HE SEEMS SO NICE."

What the fuck Christine.

Get a mother fucking grip.

Also, I'm drunk.

Not drunk enough to try and launch a spider rescue effort for the eight legged freak that's stuck in my bath tub (though I did seriously consider it....maybe another shot or two.) But drunk enough to lean over and apologize to the spider for not rescuing it.

Yep. To a SOUL SUCKING SPIDER. I'm still thinking about going in there to help. My sober self screams "NO NO GOD NO. IT WILL EAT YOUR FACE AND YOU KNOW IT!!" Fortunately, drunk Christine, can't hear your screams. Haha idiot.

So that is my drunken Andy Schleck confession. Totally boning for him. He's on my top 5 freebies list. I actually physically wrote out the list because of Andy Schleck. Granted, Robert Downey Jr and Christian Bale have always been on that list, but never in printed form. I've told my fiance that. And then asked him if he wanted to go to one of his races with me. Uh-huh. That's the level of crazy.

I just needed to tell someone. Fake internet people seemed like as good idea as any.

My magic 8 ball says I will stop thinking about Andy Schleck four weeks from now. I believe what it says. Because if not. I'm actually going to go freaking nuts.

On a completely unrelated note. I saw Inception at the theater today. The big selling point for me was the previews when it went BWWWWOOOOOOOOOM. BWWWWWWOOOOOOOOM. BWWWWWOOOOOOM.

Somehow, the way that it shook my bones made it stick. So not only did I enjoy the movie, I got tingles when the BWWWWOOOOOOM. actually showed up in the movie. I'm looking at you Iron man 2. I saw that shit in Austria and there was no god damn Ozzy Osborn. Fuck you. That was your fucking franchise song. Assholes.

Seriously though, how big of a cup do you think I need to save this spider? Like, "pretend" I'm horrifically afraid of spiders, and multiply that by a billion. Then add the drinking.

Should I get a super big gulp from 7-11? A super duper big gulp? Should I just kill it? ALL OF ME SAYS KILL IT.

And yet, I'm so drunk I feel bad for the spider.

That's it. No more drinking this month. I am cut off.

Dear Paris Hilton. Not only are you a trampy hateful little attention whore, which I was willing to let slide because lets face it, you have to live with yourself and realize that the only reason you have 'friends' is so that they can suck off your rotting money tit.

However. When I'm trying to look up pictures of Paris. You know, the city? I have to see your god damn crazy eye every 3 to 4 pictures. DIE BITCH. ITS ONLY BEEN 2 PAGES AND IM ALREADY TIRED OF YOUR GOD DAMN DRUG ADDLED FACE!

Also. My kitty had this weird cyst thingy in his neck, it was all squooshy, but no marks other wise. And then like 2 days ago I guess it fraking exploded because there's smears of red all through the white fur on his neck. It looks like it was itching it because there's a huge gash around the blood n' guts.

Yucky.

First real frost on my windshield of the year! Woot! Unfortunately I was running on a combination of little sleep and 'shit i'm late'. I had a water bottle in my hand so I thought I'd try splashing that on the window. Now, in my defense. It looks like it was working. Also, it was 5 am.

Turns out it just froze right onto the god damn frost. Also, it froze on harder than the frost. And after I had been at work for 2 hours when I went out to my car all the frost was gone except for the splashes of water that I put on.

The good news is I learned my lesson.

There is no bad news. I'm just full of the cheery shit today.

April 20th I'm going to europe. nadia still doesn't know how much time she can get off. With all due respect to her, and I really do hope that she gets to come for a substantial part of the trip but hellz yes am I going to leave her behind. I'm about 3/5ths into my savings. My mom wants me to buy a car with that money.

Lesson to you all. Cars are lame. My little shit kicker car has chugged along for a good 6 years and maybe the windows have started rolling down on their own accord but the point is right now, they're rolling back up (thank freaking christ). AND IM GOING TO EUROPE GOD DAMMIT!

Nadia's just going to keep putting it off. She has real goals, she wants to be a doctor, she wants to help people, she's got a whole 'life plan'. I get that, really I do. But I have no goals. No life plans. I definately have no desire to help people, unless it's with a swift kick in the ass. Statistics prove 87% of people deserve it. I'm still working retail and hating every minute of it. I need me a 14 hour flight dammit! I need my fix!

And hey, if we have to go in another year to satisfy Nadia's needs, I'm up for that too. What else am I going to be doing if they won't hire me to go to antarctica?

Want want want to go to Istanbul.

Dear Broadview security. Stop making your suck ass retarded commercials where people bust into your home and then scream like little bitches. I want to see the commercial where someone pulls out their shot gun and blasts 'AJ' all over the wall.

Nobody likes you commercials!

So I woke up this morning in my boyfriends condo, the poor sucker had to work at 5 so I get to stretch out, snuggle deeper into blankets and kitties. I look out the window that has the blinds half open and see a pigs head on a pike, I roll back over and snuggle into the pillow. A good two minutes pass before I decide that maybe I was mistaken. Turns out it was a deer head. On the rest of it's body. He was eyeballing me cause he was a punk ass condo deer and that's how they roll. It just kind of worried me that I didn't immediately say "AHH! PIGS HEAD! AHHH!" Granted I was still pretty sleepy, I just remember really clearly thinking that someone had decapitated a pig and set it up outside the window.

No luck for antarctica. People are already flying out. Lucky bastards. I have put my foot down and told nadia that we are going to europe next april despite her not getting into med school this year. She's always going to have real world excuses to put it off. I don't have a real world to escape into. I've got retail, and there's always reasons to leave that behind. If I don't go next year, I might die. Studies have been you know...studied.

Penny Steele. While she's got a kick ass movie star name, she's a big fucking bitch. She's been a big fucking bitch to everyone at the desk, so now when ever her special order crap comes in none of us call her. We just push the date out and hope the phone center finds it. Cause she sucks.

I went to yosemite in august, almost got mauled by bears several times. We picked the camp where the bear was coming into peoples camps while they were setting up dinner and walking behind them into the bear food lockers and picking out the marshmellows. He was there every night, several times. Oh, and christine wanted a little more privacy so she picked one of the camp sites right on the edge. You know. WHERE THE BEARS ARE. After we set everything up our closest neighbors are up in arms about something, me and nadia get up, look out into our wilderness, maybe 20 feet away two baby bears are climbing up a tree. And oh look, mama bear is there too! yaaaaay! An hour or so later, look! Big male bear! Who wants to eat us! Yaaaay! And hey, FUCK the deer who kept showing up. You know what a deer looks/sounds like when you're not really looking. A BEAR. Fun fact. The only person killed by a mammal in the park was killed by a deer. I feel really FUCKING reassured.

You ever tried to go running to the camp bathroom in the pitch black with people screaming BEAR BEAR BEAR!! And there's not any light in the toilet, granted I'm glad they had flush toilets and not holes in the ground but a light at the end of the tunnel would have been nice. Not a dark dark room where a bear might be calmly waiting for me. Hello Clarice.

Aside from the late nights listening and more importantly, actually hearing bear snuffles. Really beautiful park. Except the sequoias. Fuck that tree grove and it's hills. When I have to hike straight up a mountain, I want me a god damn view or a waterfall or a golden chalice at the end that grants me a fucking wish. A dead tree? A slightly larger dead tree than the one at the bottom of the thousand foot hill? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I was so exhausted I was certain I'd drop right to sleep, no bear worries at all. I'm nearly to sleep, even after the 2 hours of hearing people should BEAR BEAR BEAR!! CLANG CLANG! Even after Nadia says, 'oh damn, that is unsettling, is that why you didn't get to sleep last night?" and drops to sleep with 10 minutes of uneasiness. Drifting away, the voices and banging get closer, who cares I marched up a shitty mountain. I'm going to sleep, bear gallops past my head. Wired. Instantly. Hear snuffling outside of camp. Used shoe to beat my head until I passed out. NOT AMUSED BY YOUR BEAR ANTICS. DICK!

But the rocky bits. Those were awfully pretty, we went up to glaciers point around 6 am and were the only people up there to watch the sunrise come over the half dome and the whole valley, and there were the nevada falls and the less impressive falls that I can't remember the name for, they were all the way across the valley but you could still hear them roaring. You could climb all the way down from the concrete area to the very edges of the valley and just really get an incredible view of the whole thing. Found out nadia was afraid of heights. hah! Take that bitch! At least my fear of bears is supported by Colbert! What have you got? Little old ladies who get the woozies too high? HAH I SAY! Granted it was a huge fucking drop, and every now and then I could really feel it in my gut, that "I really could slip and die here". But hey, I was already likely to get mauled by a bear, what's the worst that could happen?

We also went on this lovely little hike up in the tuliliomuminumile? meadows. It was really pretty, nadia was dedicated to swimming in the river which was ice cold. When she finally found a spot she wanted to swim, she turned into a little cold water guppie. It was cold, I'll give her that, but you sit out in the sun and dunk your whole self in a couple of times, youre good!

The last night we slept in camp the ranger came by with a shot gun, good news is that it was bean bag type bullets, give him a pinch but now that he's figuring out that the pasty two legged hot pockets who yell and bang pans, can't really do shit about him taking their food. Bad news is Nadia was really excited about the prospect of shooting a bear.

So I highly recommend Yosemite and highly recommend the food lockers. Use em. And lock em.

We also went to the beach, because nadia is gay for california and it's 'sunshine'. To be honest I'm just about done with the sunshine, lets roll out the clouds bitches, I want to bust out my long sleeves already. Went to Santa Cruz, stayed in a sleazy hotel. swam in the ocean. I had fun until I found out that nadia wanted to go in and out and in and out. Ugh sand. I'm sorry, but californias beaches are just plain overrated. Nadia keeps talking about how were going to move to cali and start a bakery. Bad news chicky. California sucks!

World War Z! Fun book. For the few hours I was reading it I totally bought that there was a disease that turned people into zombies and we had gone to war with them and north korea had completely vanished and theres still hordes of them wandering at the bottom of the ocean. It's a little schitzo in the way that you mostly just talk to people once and move on, near the end you catch up with a bunch of them but I can't remember if you see them all again because frankly, I've forgotten who they were. Yeah, the one chick was russian, and that one dude was in denver. Little confusing. But if you can get into it, it's terribly fascinating.

Dear global warming/god.

103 sucks. Anything over 80 sucks. Get your shit together and knock it the fuck off.

Also. Thanks for selling our fan my dear manager. That was awwwwwwesome. Dick.

Talking animals in movies aren't funny. Or cute.

That's all.